***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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