She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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