did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
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I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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