Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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