You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
