Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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