Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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