My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
