This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
