so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize