Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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