My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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