I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
