she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize