i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
