you guys were way drunker than both of me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
