Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
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Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
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No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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