I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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