All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
