I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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