We won't sleep together?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
