The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she looked like the before picture.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
