I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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