I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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