I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize