Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
