HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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