Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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