Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
