You work out of a Hotel?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
