rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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