I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
