I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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