i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
This house was built for laser tag.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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