I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
