I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
