I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
