Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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