her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Damn victory sex feels great
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