D3 body, D1 cock
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
