they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
