If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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