Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
