Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize