If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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