i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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