my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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