I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
