you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
