dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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