she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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