I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
