It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
