that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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