so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
how does that bad decision feel?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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