i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
