Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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