I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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