What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
