i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
