We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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