If i come over, it means nothing
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
