Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
