david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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