I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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