That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
