My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
