I think I just saw someone hide a body.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
